The Joker and His Bears
by dragonprincess1988
Summary: The Joker meets the Care Bears. I was requested to write it. Don't judge me please lol


The Joker awoke from his smile inducing dream of Nightwing being drowned in cherry Kool-aid with a small yawn. He sat up in bed and giggled as he thought about the possibilities. Slowly he lowered his feet onto the floor of the apartment that he had just recently claimed as his own, with the help of Harley Quinn of course. The Joker suddenly looked down after feeling something large and fluffy underneath his left foot. It was an orange bear with a symbol of two intertwined smiling flowers on its stomach. "What in the world?" The Joker quickly rubbed his eyes and took another look only to see the creepy orange bear smiling at him.

"I am Friend Bear; I am a care bear from Carealot, and you look like you need a friend." The strange bear began to move towards The Joker.

Before the bear could take another step Joker grabbed the bottle of water that was on the nightstand next to his bed and threw it at the fuzzy orange invader so hard that the bear toppled over and its head came off. "There are just some days you shouldn't get out of bed." The Joker spoke out loud as he examined the newly decapitated bear.

Slowly another bear emerged; this one was pink and had a symbol of two intertwined hearts on its tummy. "I am Love-A-Lot Bear, and I think someone needs a hug." The bear quickly dove for The Joker's leg and latched on.

The Joker looked down at the odd little thing holding onto his leg. He then grabbed a large heavy book that was lying on the floor and started to hit the care bear vigorously with it. Once the bear hit the floor and he was certain the thing was dead Joker ran into the kitchen and started looking for anything to defend himself. "How many of these damn things are there?" Frantically he continued his search and began to arm himself. The Joker turned when he heard someone giggle behind him. To his displeasure it was another ridiculous bear.

This one was orange with a big red heart symbol on its belly. "I am Tenderheart Bear I help people show and express their feelings."

The Joker simply blinked. "How about you help me express my feelings for you?" His maniacal laugh filled the air.

The bear smiled and shook its head. "I can help you show your feelings for that girl." The bear pointed to Harley Quinn who was asleep on the couch.

The Joker was intrigued and let his eyes follow the short stubby paw that was outstretched in front of him. Once Joker's eyes fell upon the sleeping Harley, however, the knife he was holding was released and the bear fell to the floor with a thud. The Joker then headed to the living room. He wanted to wake Harley, but Joker knew that after the thrashing he gave her she would be out for awhile, still he had to try. Unfortunately, before he could cross the threshold from the kitchen into the living room there was another bear in his way.

This bear was yellow and had a symbol with a cupcake that had a candle on it on its stomach. "I am Birthday Bear."

Before the little yellow fuzz ball could say anything further Joker used a can of cooking spray and a lighter to ignite the bear. The Joker moved another two steps into the living room and nearly trampled a green bear with a four leaf clover symbol on its tummy. "Let me guess the St. Patrick's Day Bear."

The bear looked at him with a perplexed face. "What? No. Of course not, that wouldn't be politically correct. I'm the Good Luck Bear."

The Joker rolled his eyes and gave a small chuckle. "Yeah, well, your luck just, oh never mind." He picked up the bear and tossed it out the window that just happened to be opened. The Joker had just reached Harley and was about to try and wake her when another bear jumped up on top of her.

The pink bear with a rainbow symbol on her belly sat down on Harley's side and stared up at The Joker. "I am Cheer Bear. I make everyone their happiest."

The Joker glared and began to ground his teeth. "I'm perfectly happy trying to kill the Bat and his bird. I don't need you moronic fluffy demons from hell to make me happy." He picked up the ugly bear and threw into the TV that Harley forgot to shut off. The Joker's eyes lit up when he saw the sparks flying from the TV. Again Joker turned to Harley.

This time a blue-green bear with a shooting star symbol on its stomach was sitting on the back of the couch. "I am Wish Bear. I help make wishes come true."

The Joker smiled evilly. "Good, then I wish you all dead." He grabbed the bear and fed it to the hyena lying on the floor next to the couch. Joker then turned to head back to his room and ran into a yellow bear with a smiling sun symbol on its belly.

The bear began to laugh. "Hey that tickled. I'm Funshine Bear. I like to play and tell Jokes."

The Joker was about to kick him out the window along with whichever other scary ass bear he had previously thrown out there, but stopped when he heard that the bear liked to tell jokes. "You tell jokes, well that won't do. You see I can't have competition, and least of all you." He grabbed the bear by its head and placed it in the microwave on high for ten minuets. "Let's see how you like that little joker bear. If I had a vat of acid, well let's not go there. Ugh, they are making me rhyme need to get out of here." Joker continued to his room. Again he was stopped. "Oh great, which one are you?"

This bear was blue and had a symbol of a dark rain cloud with rain drops on its tummy. "I am Grumpy Bear, and I applaud you for getting rid of those annoying-"

The bear was stopped mid sentence by The Joker. "Sorry, but you're a bear too." He grabbed the bear and put in the freezer. The Joker was fed up and was ready to destroy them all. He looked around, but didn't see any others. Slowly Joker walked back to his room, he walked over to the bed, and pulled back the covers only to find another bear asleep in his bed. This one was blue with a sleepy crescent moon symbol on his stomach. "Bedtime Bear I take it."

An alarm went off and all of the sudden The Joker awoke from his hellish dream. He rolled over and grabbed Harley. "I told you not to watch that movie it gave me nightmares."

The End


End file.
